Thursday, December 30, 2010

I think the bathroom at work is haunted -only one of them, not all three of them, mind you.

The thought occurred to me after I was happily minding my own business (no pun intended) and I heard the distinct noise of someone opening the bathroom door and then opening the door to one of the stalls. Now, I know I was alone in there before because I diligently poked at all the stall doors when I came in to check if they were locked. (I only do this because someone pointed out that bending over to check for feet peeking under the doors was stupid and unneeded exercise or something. I do still indulge in some stall peeking every now and then when I'm alone.) So I go ahead and think nothing of this until I start washing my hands and realize... I am still alone in the bathroom. I peeked. I poked at the doors. Empty.

A person less experienced in horror movie watching and creepypasta reading might just assume it was the noises from the men's room next door carrying over the insufferably thin plaster wall that divides both lavatories. (I know, it's unsettling in many levels.) But alas, that would be no fun at all. I'd rather believe the entire bathroom is haunted by some poor tortured soul doomed to haunt bathroom stalls for all eternity.

Today, again, something strange was going on in there. See? There were various items on the counter next to the sinks -a thermos, a coffee mug in the ugliest shade of yellow I have ever encountered- but the bathroom was empty. I peeked. As I was washing my hands in the stillness and quiet I peeked again and was almost discovered by an actual living person that happened to walk in. As I was leaving I peeked again, thinking: "Surely someone is up to no good in here and is keeping veeeery quiet so I won't know they're in here". Nothing. Again, I was almost discovered by someone coming into the bathroom, but I gracefully pretended to adjust my leggings and hurried out.

I'm thinking having a séance in the bathroom would ring some alarms bells and get me fired or committed, but what if I'm right? Then someone will have a paranormal experience while sitting on the toilet and have to run out with their pants around their ankles, and possibly some toilet paper stuck to the soles of their shoes for added embarrassment. That is just selfish.

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